You know what we need? Altruizine

Salutations Gnafia,

I figured it was time for a book review. One of my favorites that doesn't get a lot of publicity is a recently deceased fellow named Stanislaw Lem. I won't go into details of who is was, because you can use Wikipedia if you're genuinely interested. I will, however, discuss a little about one of his publications -- The Cyberiad.

The Cyberiad is a series of short stories that all tie into one another following two creators, who are basically omnipotent robotic engineers. There are humerous interactions much akin to the humour that Douglas Adams uses. That's really all you need to know about it to want to go out and read it, for sure. But there is a specific story that I would like to entertain you with. In an attempt to make one world a better place, a hermit robot invents a substance called Altruizine. It enables humans to share every feeling with those around them. One person shared the birth pains of a cow, for example. An entire village flocks to the home of a newlywed couple to share their first night together. These kinds of awkward yet humrous scenarios are detailed in full, and I recommend you check a copy out of your local library and give it a whirl. If you hate it, you hate it. Return it and feel good knowing you've done your civic duty and patronized your public library.

I think some altruizine would be useful for one of my most recent acquisitions -- Halo: Reach. Imagine if everyone who killed me had to share how I feel being so horribly awful at the game. I think some hilarity might ensue there. Or better yet, give some altruizine to mental health providers so they can perfectly diagnose their patients. That alone would make altruizine worth researching, I feel. It would have to be a controlled substance, so it would probably be best to not develop it. Afterall, look how well cocaine is doing as a controlled substance. It'll just be another way for Mexico to make lots of money and kill a lot of innocent people. Which reminds me, Mexico's drug problems are bad, incase you didn't know.

Do I have all the answers? I wish. I can't even answer some very basic questions about myself most of the time, let alone about other people and other things. I live in a muddled mental state. I think sleep would help resolve the confusion. I should work on getting more of that. Sleep, that is.

Keep it in the family.